1-1-2018 / 11:11

A new start…. Which is a continuation of the thing that has been since always, but without the (conscious) awareness of it. Because the smallest step I can take toward the expansion of this is to write the words down,  and because now is the time for action, I am writing them down. There is […]

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“…There’s A Feeling I Get When I Look to the West (and East) and My Spirit Is Crying for Leaving…”

In the last couple of months filled with exhaustion and awesomeness, (which in part brought said exhaustion) there has been the constant ache to write, and the words always lingering, asking to be (said) or written or something. But almost every time I sat to write, no matter time of day, the exhaustion won, and […]

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The Absence of Fear

It’s 38 degrees, and I woke at 4:45 today, more due to having passed out on the couch somewhere around 10 last night than anything else, I suppose. Undisturbed sleep which I can’t exactly term as peaceful or sound due to having had a 12lb ball of fluff taking up a larger portion of the […]

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Fear

4AM wake up. Was it you, or them? Or them through you, or the converse? As I turned to meditation in hopes sleep would take me back, found myself instead surrounded by angels, or aliens, or nothing that is also everything. Surrender was for what they were asking, and what I must give, as light […]

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For Chester, For Me, For You

There's a thousand places, (to match the thousand pieces of my broken heart) where I want to start this writing, but I'm so fucking mad, and sad, so so sad, that THESE THINGS about which I must write (or be crippled by the confusion, and pain) are things at all, that words come to me […]

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“…I’m a (wo)man whose tragedies have been replaced, with memories tattooed upon my soul…”

Because I'm deep in the depths of my other writing, my writing to, and about, Chester, and cancer, but my thoughts, and heart, betray me so often I can't focus, there is this. Other thoughts that aren't those. They are all here, HERE, in my soul and my fingertips, the words I want to finish,  […]

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“…Remember You’re Loved, and You Always Will Be, this Melody Will Bring You Right Back Home…”

There are words. So many words. But exhaustion, emotional and physical, keep me from finishing what I’m trying to say to work through this fucked moment in time. Not that it will fix anything or even help anything to make sense.   Meanwhile, I need to say, you matter. You are important. You are needed. […]

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